Tag Archives: dating

123RF.com, Joshua Resnick

Platform Scottsdale: What you need to know about dating

Sandra Saenz

Sandra Saenz

platform-scottsdaleWhy do women ask a question, and then answer it themselves? Who do men say they’re going to call and then don’t? What causes women to panic when he hasn’t replied to a text in three hours? What are men thinking when they elaborate on their previous conquests?

Dating is like a box of chocolates: sometimes can be sweet and especially good when you get to the “surprise center.” Other times can cause a temporary high followed by a sugar crash. Occasionally it’s just a stomach ache waiting to happen!

Upon interviewing singles, one of my favorite descriptions was comparing it to a roller coaster ride. A roller coaster is fun, exciting, and we enjoy the fear inducing thrill of the unexpected turns. She said “Yea, it can be super fun but after 3 or 4 rounds of ups and downs with the same person, I just feel like throwing up.” Pretty insightful, I thought.

In our ever expanding affair with technology, texting, emailing, tweeting, insta-ing everything, we have forgotten how to just connect and be in the moment. We need to take more time, and being in the moment we will pick up loads of clues. Here’s the WISHES from single women and men, plus “6 Golden Nuggets” to open those lines of communication and enjoy the ride!

§  If They Only Knew! (from Women)

1.   If you want respect, it’s easy, just do what you say you’re going to do.
2.   We love flowers, romance and authentic compliments.
3.   A simple brief text as follow up means to us “he’s thinking of me”. Doesn’t have to be poetry, and doesn’t have to be 5x a day…just show me you’re alive.
4.   Don’t bring up your previous partner during intimacy.
5.   Home improvement projects and fishing accolades are not top “turn-ons” on a first date.
6.   Don’t ogle and discuss other women’s body parts when you’re on a date.
7.   Detach from your cell phone. If you can’t devote a couple of hours, then stay home and watch T.V.
8.   Be a man and ask me out on a proper date with a place in mind. Confidence is very attractive.
9.   Be honest and clear what you want. If you’re at “I just don’t know what I want.” – then call me back when you do.
10.If you don’t feel things will work out, then just say so. Don’t disappear or send a text or email. Talk to me and I will respect you for it.

§  If They Only Knew! (from Men)

1.   Don’t ask a question and then answer it for me, interrupt me or worst… “grade” my answer. We hate it when you say “wrong answer”!
2.   Be honest about who you really are. Ten year old photographs on dating sites, really? You think we can’t tell the difference? What else are you not saying?
3.   I am dating you, not asking you what food I should order on the menu, or fashion tips. If I need advice, I’ll ask for it.
4.   Don’t text or call excessively with no specific purpose. Do I have to respond to “How’s your day? If there’s no precise question, we don’t get it.
5.   Don’t bring up “the list” of past mistakes. We can’t keep up with you. We can barely figure out the new mistakes we’re making now. Feels like a competition.
6.   Don’t try to control every detail. We like you to surrender. Just allow it.
7.   Be affectionate. You’ll be surprised at how physical and visual we are.
8.   There is nothing more attractive than confidence and someone enjoying themselves. It’s a turn off when you complain about your insecurities.
9.   Get to the point when you’re talking. We have a very difficult time following the detours in your complex storytelling. What was the topic again? Feels like a test.
10.Tell me what you want and like. I really don’t have a clue how to decode your secret language. In your efforts to comply, seems you’re not honest. (?)

§  6 Golden Nuggets

1)   Listen: Just like in my sales training, the 70/30 rule. The person listening 70% of the time has more information. Listening is the most important part of communication.

2)   Be Present: Enjoy the current moment. Forget about the past, your cell phone and other people you’ve dated. This is the key to really connecting with the other person. Your combined personalities are creating a very unique and one time experience. Don’t miss it.

3)   Shift Your Focus: Focus on them and you’ll learn more, connect deeper and be less insecure. There’s nothing more attractive than feeling like you are the only person in the room with someone.

4)   Be Real: Just be your true magnificent self. After all, no one else can do that. This will naturally give you more energy and charm.

5)   Be Grateful: Remember, this person could be doing a million other things. They are here with you at this moment, so be thankful for their attention and time. Honor that.

6)   Have Fun: Everyone loves to be with someone who is enjoying themselves. There is nothing more magnetic.  Like Maya Angelou said “People may forget what you said, what you did, but people do not forget how you make them feel.”

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Scottsdale ranked No. 1 for Republican singles

While Democrats had a big win with President Obama this week, Republicans, do not fret. As a consolation prize for the presidential race, Chemistry.com has released the Top 10 Cities Where Republicans are Still Irresistible. The site reveals where conservatives are in the highest demand online, showing the top U.S. cities where red reigns. Republican singles in Scottsdale receive the most attention, followed by the swing state of Florida and then historically conservative Texas. You can find the full blog post here.

Top 10 Cities for Republicans to find their like-minded match:
1. Scottsdale
2. Jacksonville, FL
3. Dallas, TX
4. Houston, TX
5. Colorado Springs, CO
6. San Antonio, TX
7. Oklahoma City, OK
8. Virginia Beach, VA
9. Raleigh, NC
10 Charlotte, NC

Phoenix Mingles logo

Phoenix Mingles Offers Singles "Old-School" Connection

Exhausted from the day’s work, a 27-year-old man loosens his tie, grabs a beer from the fridge and flops into an oversized armchair to watch Monday night’s game. His apartment is quiet; he gave up long ago on meeting someone through the bar scene, and sifting through online dating profiles didn’t pan out. The working life simply doesn’t offer him enough personal encounters, and he’s surrendering to the idea of being alone.

A new Phoenix business hopes to change his luck — with the “old-fashioned” approach of casual, face-to-face encounters.

Founded in July, Phoenix Mingles is the creation of Morgan Klemp Stephanie Lieb of Phoenix Minglesand Stephanie Lieb. The company plans on hosting monthly networking mixers for single, young professionals ages 21 to 35 while simultaneously supporting locally owned businesses.

“To really connect with someone, I think you have to meet them in person, first and foremost,” Lieb says. “We’re trying to return to the old-school sense of the face-to-face interaction that everyone has come away from so much.”

The female duo established the company after discussions with each other and other young professionals about frustrations with the general dating scene in the Phoenix area for their age group.

Morgan Klemp of Phoenix Mingles“People want something different than going to a bar on Friday or Saturday night and hoping to meet someone, so we’re hoping to try and change that dating scene in general,” Lieb says. “At the same time, we’re also hoping to promote locally owned businesses where we hold our events.”

The first event takes place on October 11, at O.H.S.O. Brewery in Phoenix, and Lieb anticipates about 70 attendees will attend the event. The evening will be emceed by Meghan Krein, an author and relationship expert.

According to Lieb, the goal of Phoenix Mingles is to escape from underneath the umbrella branding dating companies largely oriented around speed dating. But, Lieb says they have encountered difficulties convincing people of this idea.

“The biggest challenge is when people hear about a singles-event company, they kind of cringe,” Lieb says. “I think that we’re trying to change that reputation and explain to people that we’re hoping to be the opposite of the cheesy, speed-dating, typical company. We’re going to be a very casual, comfortable setting, and it will feel a lot like a typical networking event that people seem to enjoy going to.”

Breaking free from the mold many Valley dating companies establish, Lieb and Klemp plan on making its gatherings more accessible and fun to its target demographic.

“The difference, too, is a lot of dating companies that we’ve seen in the area charge close to $50, and that doesn’t include food, drinks, any prizes or any service besides hosting that event,” Lieb says. “So we are hoping that understanding our demographic, and that young professionals may not have a lot of disposable income to spend on something like this, we wanted to keep the price fair and also include something in that price besides just the event.”

Included in Phoenix Mingles’ $25 ticket price are varieties of food and cocktail, beer or wine, and some kind of activity or speaker.

The duo also has plans to expand from bar conglomerations and have specific themes. For example, they’re looking at holding an event at a local art gallery and bringing in a local artist or the gallery owner to discuss the art scene, or go to a restaurant and learn to cook with the head chef.

“We’re hoping to get business owners interacting with people in this age group, and vice-versa,” Lieb adds.

A Phoenix native, Lieb says she’s always wanted to start her own business in Arizona and give back to the community through it.

“We want to give back to, No. 1, the singles in the Phoenix area who are struggling to find a comfortable, non-cheesy way to meet one another and make that connection — whether it’s with a new friend, or someone to have a romantic relationship with,” she says.

If Phoenix Mingles is successful, Klemp and Lieb plan to expand the business to other cities in Arizona.

For more information about Phoenix Mingles, visit phoenixmingles.wix.com/phx.