Whether you’re moving, the other parent is, or one of you has already moved, you may wonder how it will affect your custody arrangement. Don’t fret that you may not be able to see your children or that you’ll alienate them from the other parent. An experienced divorce lawyer like the ones at Davis & Associates can educate you on your options and help you and the other parent come to an agreement. An agreement that’s best will be on that puts the needs of your child or children first, while also making sense for both of the parents.
How Distance Affects Your Custody Arrangement
If you currently have a plan where you split the week between the two households or one of you has custody every weekend or every other weekend, this isn’t an option if one of you will live hours away from the other or even in another state. The children need to be able to remain in one school and have as normal a life as possible, being able to see their friends and participate in extracurriculars.
Keeping the Child’s Best Interests in Mind
Ideally, the judge will devise a solution that’s in the children’s best interests to ensure they can develop strong relationships with both parents and experience as few disruptions in their lives as possible.
The judge keeps in mind each parent’s stability and ability to care for the children. The judge will also consider each parent’s relationship with the children and the kids’ ages, extracurricular activities, friendships, and other factors that could impact their well-being.
Rather than dividing time equally in a long-distance situation, the main focus is for the children to have meaningful relationships with both parents.
What a Typical Custody Arrangement May Look Like
Typically, when there’s a long-distance custody agreement, the parents each get the children for prolonged blocks of time, such as all or part of summer vacation and entire holiday breaks. One of the parents may have the children throughout the school year. Besides the children’s schooling, the courts will also take into account the parents’ work schedules.
What Happens if the Parents Can’t Come to an Agreement
The ideal situation is for both parents to agree on a custody arrangement that works for both of them and the children and considers school breaks, holidays, and transportation. However, that’s not always how the situation works. When the parents can’t decide, the court will come up with an agreement that gives both parents time with the children but works best for the kids. The judge will also make sure to address communication, transportation, holiday schedules, and other vital details. In addition, the judge incorporates the custody laws, particularly in situations where the parents are in different states.
Transportation Is a Factor
How the children will commute between the households is sometimes taken into consideration when the parents come to an agreement. If the houses are close enough to drive, the courts will decide who should make the trip or how to split the responsibility. When the homes are far enough that the children have to fly, the courts help determine who’s responsible for paying.
The parent who is getting time with their child or children isn’t always the one responsible for the expense or travel. The court looks at finances, reasons for the distance, and work schedules. Finances play a large role in determining what is best for the child or children.
Making Sure the Long-Distance Parent Still Can Communicate with the Children
The court may discuss parental communication during periods when the child or children are staying with the other parent. During this part of the discussion, the court finds a course of action for the children to maintain a relationship with the other parent, even when they’re at the other parent’s home. This may include recommending scheduled phone or video calls.
What Happens if One Parent Relocates
The court could determine that one parent can’t move with the child or children to another location if it would interfere with the custody agreement and a new one can’t be made. In most cases, a parent can relocate. The parents will need to return to court to renegotiate a custody agreement that benefits the children and works for the parents. At this point, the judge will discuss travel arrangements, schooling, and other aspects of the children’s lives.
In a case where the original custody arrangement can still be carried out without interruption, the parents may not need to return to court.
Handling Schedule Changes
The schedule maps out when you and the other parent each have the children. While it’s a formal agreement, life happens, and you may need to alter the schedule at times for vacations, illness, the children’s extracurriculars or school schedule, or work. It’s important to remember that remaining flexible will be key for all parties concerned, including both parents and the child or children themselves. Changes are a simple part of life, after all.
A divorce lawyer can help you and the other parent come to an agreement that works for both of you when schedule changes must be made. In fact, in the initial custody agreement, you both can make a decision on how schedule changes can be handled in cases where the changes wouldn’t affect the children’s education or either parent’s time with the kids. The goal with this is to alleviate disagreements in the future. Disagreements will only lead to more hardships in the future and can jeopardgize the happiness of the child or children.
When parents separate and one moves a great distance away, possibly even out of state, the traditional custody arrangements no longer work. That doesn’t mean that one parent loses out on watching the children grow up. Instead, a lawyer can represent you and help you and the other parent form an arrangement that prioritizes what’s best for the children but is also feasible for both parents and gives them a chance to be part of their children’s lives.
