A person in the throes of addiction is usually unaware of the hurt they are causing to the people around them. One of the first things you will need to come to terms with, whether you have been through rehab on your own or through rehab for couples, is the hurt you have caused your loved ones. Most treatment programs encourage recovering addicts to reach out to the people they have wronged in the past in order to make amends.
While this can be a difficult process, it is an essential part of your recovery. Being hesitant to approach the people you have hurt with your addiction is normal. However, you don’t need to let this apprehension get in the way of true emotional healing. If you are a newly sober person attempting to mend damaged relationships, check out the useful tips below.
Give Loved Ones an Opportunity to Heal
There are more than 13 million Americans currently struggling with substance abuse. It takes a lot of courage for an addict to seek out treatment for their dependency on drugs and alcohol. During your time in rehab, you will be given an opportunity to heal. As you start to approach people you have hurt and wronged in the past, you should realize that they have not been given that opportunity yet. This means you might not get a positive response from the people you approach.
Preparing yourself for these bad reactions is crucial. While your first instinct might be to get defensive, you need to avoid doing this. The best thing you can do in this situation is to simply listen to the person, acknowledge their feelings and allow them to vent. If the person does not immediately respond to your attempts to mend the relationship, respect their feelings. In some cases, time is the best way to heal the wounds caused by substance addiction.
Ask For a Person’s Forgiveness
Even though you have acknowledged your responsibility in hurting your loved ones, you cannot assume that they know how sorry you are for the behavior you exhibited as an addict. In most cases, the people you have hurt may have no idea the depth of your remorse. This is why you need to provide these individuals with a heartfelt acknowledgment of the specific things you did when you were an addict. Once you lay out what you are sorry for, you need to ask a person for their forgiveness.
If you hold things back and don’t give the person the full story about how you wronged them, you will likely continue to carry guilt about the circumstances. Everyone has heard the saying, “A person is only as sick as their secrets.” Rather than keeping parts of your addiction hidden, you need to be brutally honest with the people from whom you are seeking forgiveness. Doing this is also a great way to let go of the guilt associated with this troubling time in your life.
Get Involved in a Support Group
Unearthing past trauma can wreak havoc on your sobriety. If you let admissions of past wrongdoing get you down, you have a higher risk of relapsing. This is why you need to make attending meetings with other former addicts a priority. Being able to talk with people who have been through the same thing as you can help you stay on the straight and narrow. The people in your support group will also be able to give you advice about how to approach the people you want forgiveness from.
Let the Healing Begin
A vital part of leaving your addiction in the past is making amends with the people you hurt. The time and energy you invest in this process will be worth it considering the relationships it will save.
