A third of full-time employees are willing to take a pay cut to avoid working in a toxic environment, recent findings reveal. A toxic boss is often a key contributor to a toxic work environment, with 21% of employees attributing increased stress levels to their bosses.
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Eager to help employees spot and successfully resolve toxic workplaces, the experts at Job search and career coaching platform JobLeads created a comprehensive dos and don’ts list for dealing with a toxic boss.
Four DOs of dealing with a toxic boss
1. Do: Take a deep breath and calmly asses the situation
Take the time to go away and calm down so that you can assess the situation with a clear head. Deep breathing is a proven technique that can help lower your stress levels and benefit effective thinking. This way you’d be able to respond with evidence rather than emotion.
When ready to respond, calmly let your manager know that you take their feedback on board, but next time you would appreciate it to be delivered in a way that enables you to tackle it constructively.
2. Do: Evaluate ‘unfair’ feedback and be honest about its merit
If your manager has given you feedback in a way that feels unfair and rudely delivered, take the time to objectively evaluate it and be honest with yourself: does their feedback have any merit? If yes, then take it on board and address the matter in a way that works for the both of you.
If the feedback is unfair, and they were blunt or unprofessional in its delivery, schedule a 1:1 to try and resolve the matter. Give your manager the opportunity to rectify the situation or clarify their reasoning, and keep a copy of all correspondence on the issue.
3. Do: Set up a meeting with your manager’s boss to discuss the problem
If you weren’t able to resolve the problem directly with your manager, the next step is to arrange a 1:1 with your manager’s boss. Although it might feel uncomfortable to take such a step, this is an important move in being seen to want to resolve the situation (and have the written evidence to prove so).
After this meeting, send the higher manager an email to thank them for their time, as well as to summarise what was discussed and/or agreed.
4. Do: Inform Human Resources of the issue
By taking the matter to HR yourself, you highlight that you’re the one taking steps to find a solution, along with adding weight to the written communications you’ve been keeping a record of.
Once a matter reaches HR, the issue will likely become a formal investigation. Rather than fearing it, show that you’re open and transparent by handing over any requested information as soon as possible. Respond positively to requests for meetings or clarifications.
Four DON’Ts of dealing with a toxic boss
1. Don’t: Ignore your manager’s toxic behaviour
If a manager says or does something that you instinctively, as a seasoned professional, don’t believe is right, don’t sit back in silence. Particularly if it is damaging to team relationships or violates company policies and procedures.
You never know who else is being silently affected by the manager’s behaviour. By speaking out, you encourage others to voice their concerns, too.
2. Don’t: Forget that bullying, intimidating or unreasonable micromanagement are rarely isolated
Unless they’re having a bad day, toxic behaviour by a manager is unlikely to be a one-off incident. Although their criticism or actions may seem out of the blue and take you by surprise, it could actually be part of a wider pattern. Pay careful attention to how they interact with you and other team members.
Don’t forget to keep track of concerning behaviour by noting the date, time, location, situation, behaviour, and any witnesses as soon as possible after it occurs. Then, if you end up escalating an issue, you’ll have the evidence you need to support you.
3. Don’t: Gossip about the issue with colleagues
Whatever you do, don’t gossip about the matter with your colleagues. Unless they are witnesses of specific instances, there is no professional reason to inform them.
Although it can be very tempting to justify your version of events by having more people on your side, once you’re seen as a rumour-monger, it can be hard to do away with that impression. Moreover, it has the potential to damage the credibility of the evidence you’ve gathered so far and lead to distrust from the HR department.
4. Don’t: Leave before you have attempted all the dos
Often when we’re angry and hurt by a negative work situation, our first reaction may be to quit and find another job. But even though you’re escaping one situation by quitting, you will likely face different challenges in the next job.
So, carefully evaluate the situation and avoid making hasty decisions in the heat of the moment. Sometimes, it might end up being easier trying to resolve the current issue, than having to start over again and dealing with different challenges in another role.
Work through the ‘Do’ steps first before taking things further and looking for another job.
