Grace Pacie hates being late and was desperate to improve her punctuality.  She discovered around 20% of the population struggle with being on time or always being late, yet when searching for help, she found a black hole – no research has been published on the subject of how to stop being late and classic Time Management theory fails to even scratch the surface of the problem.  “To advise a late person to leave home earlier is like advising an overweight person to eat less,” she explains, “The problem lies at a much deeper level.”

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The conclusions of her original research are controversial – she claims that lack of punctuality is a personality trait we are born with.  Contrary to perceived wisdom, she says late people are remorseful about their lateness and would love to change, but don’t know how.  As part of her mission to redefine lateness, Pacie has renamed the behaviour Timebending. “Late people relate to this term immediately – they are so relieved to see their different approach to time finally recognised and understood.”

Pacie claims that people who are frequently late have a subconscious resistance to closure, and are reliant on a deadline to get them moving.  Unfortunately, the buzz of adrenaline which kicks in once a deadline looms can foster an addictive habit which is hard to break.

Pacie offers insights for both the people who are late and those who wait for them.  She reveals that the reasons why Timebenders are frequently late include:

  1. They have a problem measuring time, and typically underestimate by 20-30%.
  2. They have a mental block about ‘transition time’ – the time it takes to get ready.
  3. They have a hidden resistance to closure.
  4. They only factor their fastest journey times into their calculations.
  5. They have an instinctive dislike of being early.
  6. They are optimists who never allow time for anything to go wrong.
  7. They subconsciously choose whether to be on time or not.*

But there are solutions to the problem.  Grace explains that while a chronic lateness habit is very hard to kick, there are nevertheless many behavioural techniques which can assist a Timebender to be on time.  “We don’t intend to be late, but we’re battling with compulsive behaviours,” she explains, “So we need to find a way to trick ourselves into arriving on time.”  Every Timebender is able to be punctual when it really matters, and through her research she has collected a ‘toolbox’ of tried and tested tips to share with readers.

These include:

1. One-off Events

For a big event, like a wedding or a concert, or catching a flight, create a pre-event deadline which you can be late for.  You know you’ll be late, so build in a buffer, so that you’ll be on time for the actual event.  For example:

  • Arrange a meet-up beforehand, perhaps for drinks or a meal.
  • Book a hotel the night before.
  • Arrange to drop your car at someone’s house and share the journey.
  • Cadge a lift, catch a train, or call a cab/Uber – don’t drive yourself.

2. Regular Events

Late people subconsciously hate being early, and always aim to arrive at the last minute.  These tricks will help:

  • Offer to give someone a lift, and arrange to pick them up in plenty of time.  This will be your deadline, so even if you are a little late, you’ll get the event in good time.
  • Tell yourself you need to allow time for a coffee, check your messages, or talk to a friend before the event begins. 
  • Make sure the last thing you plan to do before leaving home can be abandoned – like eating breakfast or cleaning your shoes.

3. Put alerts on your phone for the time you need to start getting ready – never focus on the time you must leave.  Do it well in advance, when you’re calm and can plan rationally (remember to factor in transition time).  You’ll be a little late starting to get ready, but you can speed up your preparations and still leave home (almost) on time.

And it’s not just the late people who need help.  Grace has 12 clear guidelines for partners, with a startling warning – lying about a deadline just makes the problem worse.

About Grace G. Pacie: Grace G Pacie has spent most of her career as a Research Consultant, helping major multinationals understand customer decision-making processes in Europe and the USA.  In addition to gaining a BA and Masters Degree she has qualifications in Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Emotional Freedom Technique and Hypnotherapy.  She has been awarded Fellowship of the Chartered Institute of Marketing. She is an accredited MBTI Practitioner, and a member of the British Association for Psychological Type.