Everything you need to know about moving on from your ex
When a relationship comes to an end it can be a painful experience and the healing process can take some time before you can say that you are ready to begin moving on with a new chapter in your life.
Untangling your emotions is not always that straightforward and that comment applies to your ex as well, especially if you are saying to yourself that there are signs my ex boyfriend still has feelings for me.
Let’s take a look at some of the main things you should know about how to move on with your life and start looking for love again.
You might need to stay out of contact
Not all breakups are acrimonious and there might be a scenario where there are no hard feelings and you agree to remain friends.
The only problem with this scenario is that if your ex still has feelings for you they may be keen to continue regular contact with you in the hope that you might agree to get back together again.
It is understandable that you might initially consider the idea of completing letting go as a bit too daunting to consider so soon after ending the relationship from a romantic perspective.
There is always the chance that you can, over time, become friends and put your relationship firmly in the past but that is going to be difficult to do if you are still in regular contact so soon after ending your romantic commitment to each other.
The only way to truly break all the romantic ties and start your healing process is to avoid contact altogether, for a while at least.
This will allow you to start building a new life without each other, so make it known that you would like some space and prefer to keep out of contact for a period of time.
When children are involved
The obvious drawback to this suggestion for a clean break is when there are children in the relationship and you need to remain in contact with each other for access and general parenting arrangements.
The main point to consider in this scenario is that there is a world of difference between being friendly and cordial with each other and being friends with feelings for each other.
Respect each other as parents as this will be beneficial for the children too, but try to keep it “professional” and avoid bringing up topics that could stir up old emotions.
Apply a good dose of realism to the situation
The bottom line is that all relationships end for a reason.
It could be that your love for each other slowly eroded away or it might be that there were too many differences and disagreements to be able to sustain a loving relationship.
What can often happen when you part is that you enter a period of reflection and start to think that you might have been able to do things differently and if you could go back and change those things it could have provided a different ending.
It’s all too easy to start fantasizing about the sort of relationship that you didn’t actually have and wondering if there is a chance to put it right.
The reality is that you parted for a good reason and it is normally better to reconcile yourself to accepting this situation rather than dreaming about what might have been, which will make it harder to let go.
Forgiveness on your terms
If the relationship ended because you were not treated with the civility and respect you deserve it is understandable that you will have feelings of anger and resentment.
However, holding on to that anger can make it harder for you to draw a line under that period of your life and move on to the next chapter.
No one is arguing that you shouldn’t be entitled to be feeling hurt and angry about the way you were treated but what you don’t want to happen is your ex’s actions are restricting your ability to move forward.
That scenario could mean that your ex is still managing to exert an element of control over your life, which you don’t want to happen.
The way to avoid this happening would be to apply a level of forgiveness but on your terms.
You are not excusing them for their actions by adopting a spirit of forgiveness but adopting this mindset will give you a far greater element of emotional freedom and that will allow you to move on.
It is not always easy to stop loving your ex
Some relationships come to an end despite both of you feeling that you still love your ex, which is something that can and does happen and it is ok to have these feelings provided you deal with them in the right way.
As you mature and become more rounded and experienced about life you will probably find it easier to accept the concept that love for each other is not always enough glue to hold a relationship together.
There is a fundamental difference between ending a relationship and ending your love for that person.
The way to deal with this situation can often be to embrace those feelings of love that you still have for your ex and use it to express your wish for them to be happy in the future with whatever they do.
You always want the best for your close friends and family and if you can apply those well-meaning intentions to your ex it should help you to cope with your emotions in a more positive way.
Look after yourself
You are going to feel a bit low and emotionally vulnerable when you suffer a breakup and this is the time to show yourself some love as a way of moving on.
Self-forgiveness is an important healing mechanism and this is a key time for looking after yourself and looking forward rather than looking back and allowing negative thoughts to overwhelm you.
Moving on from your ex is always going to be a challenge but if you consider some of these points about how to cope when your relationship ends it should help you to come to terms with what has happened and deal with it as successfully as possible.