The reality of separation: 5 myths about divorce

Lifestyle | 30 Aug |

No person should stay in a marriage when they are truly unhappy. Sadly, many individuals do exactly this as they believe common myths about divorce. With this inaccurate information, they feel they are forced to remain. It’s time to clear some of these myths up so people can make an informed decision as to what steps they should take regarding their marriage.

Separate Bank Accounts Protect Both Parties

The first thing a person needs to realize is separate bank accounts does not mean separate finances. In the state of Oklahoma, any money that is earned during the marriage is considered joint property and the court determines a fair division of assets, including these accounts. When a person has questions about the division of property, child visitation rights, child custody attorneys, divorce and paternity, they need to speak to a family law attorney to ensure the information obtained is correct and they are not being misled by a myth. 

Mothers Always Get Custody

Men often don’t even bother to fight for custody of the children as they assume the mother is automatically given the kids. This is not the case. When a court determines who will have physical and legal custody of the children, they take the best interests of the kids into consideration. When the dad has been the main caretaker, he will often get custody so there is less disruption in the lives of the children. Other factors come into play at this time, but the best interests remain the priority.

Problems Will Immediately End

A person may file for divorce because they are tired of the constant stress and fighting. They assume these issues will be relieved once the process is complete. Sadly, this often isn’t the case. One spouse might find his or her standard of living significantly changes following the divorce, which can lead to issues, and parents who fought while married may continue to do so once the divorce is final. They couldn’t agree on issues related to the children while married and divorce won’t change that.

Alimony is Based on Gender

People often assume a woman will be granted alimony in a divorce. However, women now make more money, and many earn more than their spouses. The court looks at the income of each party in the divorce, not their gender. As more dads now stay home to take care of the children while the mom works, more men are finding they can request alimony and receive it until they can restart their career or begin a new one. Depending on the amount of child support and alimony granted, a man might even find he can continue to stay home and care for the children following the dissolution of the marriage.

One Partner is at Fault in the Divorce

There are two parties in every marriage and both must accept their share of the blame in a divorce. While this may be nothing more than the individuals growing apart, it needs to be determined what contributed to this. If either person does not take a long, hard look at how they were responsible for the marriage falling apart, they may make similar mistakes in subsequent relationships. This is only one of many reasons why second marriages have a higher divorce rate than first ones, although there are several others.

Don’t assume what you have heard regarding divorce is true. Learn the facts for yourself. Once you do so, you may find it is time to end an unhappy relationship. Only you know what is best based on the specific circumstances. 

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