Ahead of Valentine’s Day, the BMO Real Financial Progress Index finds singles and couples alike are willing to spend a pretty penny to find love or keep that romantic spark alive. When it comes to spending on dates, how much is the average American adult 18 and spending every year on dating?
The average American adult 18 and older, whether currently in a relationship or not, spends $2,279 on dates every year and estimates the “all-in” price of a date – from pre-date grooming to gas money – is nearly $168.
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Americans lucky enough to have found love say it took ten dates (median) before they committed to their special someone. Based on the typical cost of a date, singles may have to spend $1,678 to find their valentine.
A look at spending on dates
With the biggest date night of year approaching, these costs are forcing uncoupled Americans to adjust and even pull back on their dating plans. More than four in ten uncoupled Americans agree they have adjusted a date for financial reasons (44%), while more than one-quarter (27%) had to cancel a date due to financial pressures.
“It’s clear that dating or being in a relationship today comes with pressure to spend which can affect how well people are able to stay on track for their goals,” said Paul Dilda, Head of U.S. Consumer Strategy at BMO. “Healthy communication among couples about their finances builds trust, and making use of financial experts and tools—including your bank—to help with budgeting and saving can help keep money conversations on track so that Valentine’s Day and other investments in your relationship don’t leave your financial progress in the red.”
Other key survey findings about how Americans are spending on love:
- Gen Z are the biggest spenders on dating: Despite being earlier in their saving journey, Gen Z spend $194 per romantic night out, outspending Millennials ($191), Gen X ($172) and Baby Boomers ($127). With Gen Zers going on nearly 14 dates (median) in the past year, they are estimating it costs a total of $2,676 a year. Gen Z’s dating anxiety outpaces older generations, with 46% of Gen Z singles feeling pressure to plan expensive dates.
- Singles aren’t shelling out as much for the “situationship:” While single Americans go on more dates, they tend to spend less than couples per date. Despite being more likely to say that they are cutting back on nights out to save money, couples are spending $28 more per date than singles.
- Coupled-up Millennial men spend the most: The demographic that splurges the most for love is millennial men in committed relationships, who say that an average date costs $252.
Financial green flags: financial responsibility is the most universally attractive trait
More than two out of five uncoupled Americans (44%) believe that their net worth affects their dating prospects. Despite this, the most common financial “green flags” that Americans look for in a romantic partner have less to do with the size of the number in the bank.
According to survey respondents in a relationship or seeking a relationship, the top three most attractive financial traits are a sense of financial responsibility (96%), talking about money openly (94%), and having a good financial plan (92%). Other popular financial traits in a potential partner include a successful career trajectory (86%), a high credit score (83%), owning a home (73%) and a high-earning job (73%).
In fact, some Americans say they want to start financial “real talk” early. About four in ten (39%) of Americans say that the right time to begin discussing money is by the time the relationship becomes official, with 10% saying that couples should talk finances after just the first few dates.
A number of Americans, however, could do a better job of practicing what they preach with communicating openly and honestly about finances in their relationships. Just 55% of couples say they share equal responsibility for meeting with their professional financial advisor – and 11% of Americans in a committed relationship say they rarely or never talk with their significant other about household finances.
Furthermore, one in four Americans (25%) admit that they occasionally omit things that make them look bad when talking money with their significant other – and one in ten say they are either occasionally or regularly lie outright.
Those who do not always tell the truth about money might reconsider the error of their ways – financial honesty could be a key to happier romantic relationships. Just 29% of Americans who reported being “very” financially honest with their partners fight about money, compared to 54% of those who reported they are “not very or not at all” financially honest. Those who are truthful about money also spend more quality time in each other’s company. Partners who are very financially honest go on eight dates per year (median), outpacing the five dates per year that habitually dishonest partners enjoy.
“Instead of feeling the need to spend heavily to impress a new partner or a long-term significant other, Americans should keep in mind that financial progress fundamentals like having a financial plan, being responsible with money, and having honest conversations can be as important to attraction and a happy, healthy relationship as expensive and grand romantic gestures,” Dilda added.
The couple that saves together, stays together
Over one-third (36%) of Americans say that spending is often a source of conflict in their relationship, and this remains consistent whether couples split their finances or believe what’s mine is yours. In fact, 42% of Americans (including 53% of Millennials) believe their partner or spouse spends too much.
However, couples that integrate their finances generally say that they are more closely aligned with their financial planning, goals, and spending habits. Couples who integrate their finances are more likely to say that they are compatible in their financial goals (85% vs. 73%), more likely to agree on if and how their financial goals need to change (88% vs. 79%) and more likely to feel comfortable discussing money with each other (90% vs. 78%).
And disparate salary levels tend to cause less of a headache for couples who share their finances. Only 29% of couples who integrate their money say different levels of income cause stress in their relationship, compared to 36% who don’t.
“The data suggests that eliminating the line between ‘yours’ and ‘mine’ can help couples live in financial harmony,” Dilda added. “It may sound like a recipe to create bickering, but bringing more financial transparency into your relationship may actually help increase your odds for happily ever after.”
Stay out of the red this Valentine’s Day
No matter your relationship status this Valentine’s Day, BMO offers the following resources to help couples and singles alike make real financial progress.
- For couples tying the knot, make the most of your money as your relationship grows by integrating your finances with a BMO Relationship Checking account.
- Looking to keep that spark alive? Facilitate open money talk by booking a joint meeting with a BMO Financial Advisor.
- Develop the sense of financial responsibility that nearly all of Americans are looking for in a romantic partner and start making a financial plan with BMO’s Real Financial Progress Hub.
- Beware of Romance Scams: Online dating and social media make it seem easy to meet people, and while these sites attract a lot of single people seeking partners, they also attract criminals armed with advanced artificial intelligence (AI) tools to create scams. Romance scams involve fraudsters expressing false romantic intentions towards victims to gain their trust in order to access their money (cash, gift cards, credit card information), personal information and/or bank accounts. To learn more about how Americans can protect themselves and their loved ones from some common scams, please click here.
To learn more about how BMO can help customers make financial progress, visit https://www.bmo.com/us.
