How can you get what you want in life?

To help you get what you want in life, we asked life coaches and thought leaders this question for their best advice. From aligning your self-image with the desired outcome to doing 30-day challenges to get what you want, there are several tips to follow to help you cultivate the right values and equip yourself to get all that you want in life.

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Here are 14 tips these leaders follow to get what they want in life:

  • Align Your Self-image With the Desired Outcome
  • Know What You Want
  • Don’t Be Afraid to Fail
  • Focus on What You Control
  • Be Honest About Yourself to Get What You Want
  • Be in a State of Gratitude Always
  • Do What You Love and Give it Your All
  • Remember That All Great Things Are Built in Stages
  • Don’t Try to Live Like Someone Else
  • Set Small Achievable Goals
  • Acquire the Skills You Need to Achieve Your Goals
  • Learn the Right Communication to Shape Out What You Want
  • Step Out of Your Comfort Zones
  • Do 30-Day Challenges to Get What You Want in Life
How To Get What You Want In Life
How To Get What You Want In Life


Align Your Self-Image With the Desired Outcome

Many people are disconnected from what they want in life and their current results. This often happens because people’s behaviors are not aligned with their desired identity. Your behaviors reflect your identity, so if you want to get anything you want in life, you need to start by changing your identity. To do this, begin by examining your current behaviors and the thoughts and beliefs that create your results. Then, start making minor changes to align your behavior with the vision you have for your life. Changing your identity takes time and effort, but it’s worth it if it means achieving your dream life.

Michael Sena, SENACEA


Know What You Want

You first need to know what you want to get what you want. That might seem trivial, but many people don’t spend enough time asking themselves about their priorities. They have a vague idea of their goals but don’t take actionable steps to realize them. That’s why you should ask yourself where you’d like to be in five years. Take the time to consider different areas of your life and see if your goals align with each other. For example, it might be challenging to change your career path when you also plan to start a family at this time.

It’s a good idea to think about the most important things to you at a specific time and then list tasks on how you plan to achieve them. Try to split your goal into small actionable items you can realize daily. That way, you will feel accomplished after completing various milestones of your big objectives and stay on track when heading toward your dreams.

Dorota Lysienia, LiveCareer


Don’t Be Afraid to Fail

We are our own worst enemies, and oftentimes we’re our only obstacle in getting what we want in life. The most common limitation we set for ourselves is presented in the form of a question: “what if you fail?”. Our fear of failure stops us from going after the job we want, asking out the person we like, or even starting a diet or exercise plan we need. We convince ourselves that it doesn’t even make sense to start because we will fail on the way.

Failure is part of life, it is what gets us the experience we need to try again and again until we succeed. If we allow our fear of failure to stop us from getting what we want in life, then we’ve already failed.

Jessica Ulloa, MyPerfectResume


Focus on What You Control

Focus on what you can control and do not make your happiness a function of things you cannot. This attitude gives you a sense of equanimity and puts you at the helm of your life. It also makes you more resilient in the face of challenges and disappointments. It does not mean lowering your standards. On the contrary, it is about being clear about what you want and being intentional about going after it. It is about knowing what you can change and focusing on that rather than on things that will not bend to your will.

Matthew Ramirez, Paraphrase Tool


Be Honest About Yourself to Get What You Want

While pursuing what you want in life can be an amazing journey of discovery, it also requires brutal honesty and why you need to be self-critical. You will have successes, but will also have failures, and letting yourself off the hook or making excuses will not serve you in your journey. Looking at your flaws, examining your decision-making process, and accessing where you need to improve, is critical if you are to achieve your goals. Simply going easy on yourself all of the time will cause stagnation. By being honest and self-critical, you can truly assess what you need to do to move forward, and get what you want in life.

Adelle Archer, Eterneva


Be in a State of Gratitude Always

There are several factors that go into getting what you want in life, but perhaps none is more important than living in a state of gratitude. Many believe that being grateful simply means recognizing and being thankful for what you have, and while that is part of it, it also requires you to share that gratitude with others. 

Being inwardly grateful but also expressing gratitude to others for their help and support, makes people feel positive, and more likely to want to work with you in the future, which in turn, opens doors to new opportunities. In addition, being grateful provides you the insight to see all the opportunities that are presented to you, rather than closing your mind to different ideas. In living in a state of gratitude, you will be more likely to get what you want out of life, and maybe discover things you didn’t know you wanted in the first place.

Matt Miller, Embroker


Do What You Love and Give it Your All

This may seem like the most straightforward tip on this list, but it is indeed the essence of a remarkable and happy life, personally and professionally. Although clichéd, doing what you love is indeed the best way to live an extraordinary life. After all, you work harder, give more of yourself, and put in every effort possible when building something that is a labor of love. Find a field you love to build a career in, give it your all, and you are bound to get what you want in life.

Azmaira Maker, Ph.D., Aspiring Families


Remember That All Great Things Are Built in Stages

My job is to create and deliver authentic and meaningful experiences for young adults. Helping others figure out what they want out of life – and, equally important, how to get there – has always been a cornerstone of this work. For whatever it’s worth, I always advise others to focus less on the destination and more on the path taken to get there. All great things are built in stages.

Once you resolve to pursue your dream – take a small step towards it – then another – then another – then another – then don’t stop! Each step feels a little less daunting. And each step brings you closer to your goal. 

Dan Meyer, BACK&PACK


Don’t Try to Live Like Someone Else

Stay true to your values, wants, and needs. Your journey and story will not be the same as someone else’s, and that’s o.k. It’s good to have role models to inspire you, but embrace what makes you unique. This will help distinguish you from others and give you a greater sense of fulfillment once you reach your goals. Stay true to your core values and live according to your unique principles and qualities to get what you want in life.

Datha Santomieri, Steadily


Set Small Achievable Goals

In order to get what you want in the long term, you need to take small steps to get there in the short term. When I have a big goal in mind, I sit down with a blank piece of paper and brainstorm small steps I can take to bring me from point A (where I am now) to point B (where I want to be). For example, if you want to pay off your student loans in five years – you would want to crunch the numbers and figure out how much extra money you would need to pay toward the outstanding balance per month to be debt-free in five years. Each payment represents a small achievable goal that brings you that much closer to reaching your dreams.

Alexandra Fennell, Attn: Grace


Acquire the Skills You Need to Achieve Your Goals

One of the best ways to get what you want in life is working towards your goals by acquiring the skills you need and constantly working on your growth and development. By putting in the effort, gaining the experience and skills needed, you’ll have the knowledge, skills and experience to get what you want. The more knowledge you acquire, the more you’ll be able to be successful, make better decisions and pave the way to get where you need to be.

Jenna Nye, On the Strip


Learn the Right Communication to Shape Out What You Want 

Wouldn’t it be a wonderful world if everyone learned how to be respectfully sincere, frank and forthright in their communications with others.  Becoming a genuine communicator is the solution for establishing your boundaries while doing so in a way that is assertive rather than aggressive or passive-aggressive. For example, it is so easy to establish a boundary with friends, family or coworkers to become defensive with their rebuttals and get off course. Instead, state your intention at the beginning of the conversation such as it is your intention to understand their perspective. This means you listen to understand so the heart of the matter is fully exposed BEFORE stating what you need from others.  This builds mutual respect in your connections with others – or –  you have justifiable decisions to make going forward.

Dianne Crampton, TIGERS Success Series


Step Out of Your Comfort Zones

I’d say to truly get where you want to be in life, you have to step out of your comfort zones. A successful individual does not wait for the apple to fall from the tree; rather, he uses a ladder to climb on the trunk and bag how many apples he likes to have. This simply implies that it takes an immense amount of effort to be where you want to be in life, but it is possible through result-driven perseverance and determination to achieve a more fruitful life. Otherwise, you’d be like a wingless bird wandering around a vast ocean, just waiting to become the prey of sea beasts; you wouldn’t want that to happen. 

Christine Brownstein, Palaleather UK


Do 30-Day Challenges to Get What You Want in Life

Many will say the secret to getting what you want in life is to visualize it, but I’ll say the secret is actually doing 30 day challenges. 30-day challenges make a positive one time behavior into a positive recurring habit. At the beginning of the challenge it takes willpower to do the habit, at the end, it takes very little. Knowing this will allow you to learn and do anything. You can take on the traits of the happiest, most successful people in life and do what they do. 30-day challenges are the real secret.

Edward Sturm, Commit Club