After spending months or years with someone who you were pretty sure you were going to marry one day, your partner suddenly ended the relationship.

You’re not going to lie: it took you quite a while to recover from that shock and if you are being totally honest, you are not sure you have your relationship mojo back quite yet.

Then a couple of months ago, you met a really great new person and things are getting serious. You have already planned an overnight trip to Sedona and you are pretty sure things will heat up. You’re excited about where this relationship is going, but also a little terrified.

Sound familiar?

If your confidence has been shaken by your past breakup, please know that this is normal. At the same time, also realize that you can take tangible steps like these to regain your self-esteem and self-assurance. Here’s how:

Live in the Moment

Nothing will cause you to feel anxiety in a new relationship faster than thinking too much about the future. Try to avoid planning out a timeline for the two of you and instead focus on getting to know your new sweetie. As you regain your self-confidence, you will realize that focusing on the present and the person are your best bets, and if it doesn’t work out it simply was not meant to be.

Suggest Role Playing

In addition to being a fun and sexy activity, dressing up in costumes and pretending to be someone else for a while can be a great way to instill trust in each other while building confidence. Mention to your new boo that you have always wanted to do some cosplay, and check out some sexy lingerie costumes together at an online retailer such as 3Wishes. Choose an outfit or two to wear either at your home or during your upcoming trip and watch as the sparks start to fly.

Use the Power of Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are an effective way to regain your confidence in your new relationship. Every single day, take some time and tell yourself three things: what type of relationship you deserve, how you are worthy of love, and the feelings you want to experience. Also, remind yourself that you are a beautiful and self-confident person that anyone is lucky to know, let alone date.

Remember, You Can Call the Shots

After your previous love pulled the carpet out from underneath your relationship, you might be feeling a tad powerless. Nothing is further from the truth. You have plenty of power, both to decide who to date, and if your current partner is relationship-worthy. Instead of trying to overthink every little thing that happens with your new love and worrying that he may leave you, remember that you also have a say in how things are going. Yes, you enjoy being with your new friend very much. But you also have plenty of power in terms of deciding if and how you want things to progress.

You are Strong, Confident and Amazing

You are a wonderful and beautiful person, both inside and out. Keeping a positive mindset and reminding yourself that you are worthy of being loved—while also living in the moment and giving role playing a try—can help to boost your confidence back up to where it used to be.