Many people mistakenly believe that Vatsyayana’s Kama Sutra focused exclusively on titillating, Cirque-de-Soleil-esque sex positions. However, he also provided guidance on how to find a partner, how to earn said partner’s trust, how to achieve emotional fulfillment, and whether reconnecting with an ex-lover is worth the effort. Even back in ancient times, it was understood that relationship happiness and the ability to stay together forever depended on a number of factors, not just a partner’s ability to pull off the Janakurpara position. Sensual satisfaction is most certainly a contributing factor – ranked 5th in a study conducted by Queendom.com – but it’s the intangibles that seem to matter more.
Analyzing data from 2,560 people who took the Relationship Satisfaction Test, Queendom researchers used multiple regression statistical methods to identify the relationship factors that most strongly differentiate happy couples from unhappy ones.
TOP 10 PREDICTORS OF RELATIONSHIP SATISFACTION
1: Whether the differences between the partners – in terms of personality, skills, and social preferences – are viewed as complementary
2: The degree to which each partner’s emotional needs are being fulfilled, which includes feeling loved, secure, accepted, supported, listened to, valued, and desired
3: Having similar values
4: The degree to which the partners express appreciation for each other
5: How often the couple has sex, the quality of the sex, and whether the partners have the freedom to express their sexual desires and fantasies
6: Having shared interests and activities
7: Being able to talk freely and openly, and to share a contrasting opinion without being mocked, rejected, or yelled at
8: The level of trust between the partners
9: The degree of intellectual compatibility
10: Being able to get along with a partner’s relatives
“Each of these factors plays an important role in relationship satisfaction. However, our statistical analyses revealed that the top four aspects had the strongest impact. Essentially, it’s in these areas where happy and unhappy couples differed the most,” explains Dr. Jerabek, president of PsychTests, the parent company of Queendom. “This means that if you and your partner are alike in terms of your values, are meeting each other’s emotional needs, are making it a point to appreciate one another, and are able to achieve balance in terms of your personality differences, then you’re already well on your way to a happy relationship. The rest of the factors are simply the icing on an already delicious cake. Of course, the conditions of each of these elements are entirely subjective. Some couples don’t need to talk very much in order to be happy, or to have sex three times a day – to each their own. What matters is what works for your relationship, and whether you are able to find balance. Opposites do attract, but when a couple is unable to bridge their differences, and are unwilling to meet each other halfway, that’s when problems start. The most important point here is that happy couples appreciate their differences, and are able to view them as complementary. They find the silver lining, instead of lamenting over how their partner lacks this or that. Couples who have been together for a long time have the advantage – and the experience – of knowing how to meet each other’s needs, but only if they are both willing to put in the effort. So our advice is, don’t just go through the motions this Valentine’s Day. Make it a point to count your blessings, remember why you love your partner, what you appreciate about him or her, and what he/she brings to your life – and then express it.”
Want to assess your relationship satisfaction? Check out the Relationship Satisfaction Test by visiting https://www.queendom.com/tests/access_page/index.htm?idRegTest=1131