Why do people self-sabotage? Covert excuses of self-destructive behaviors.

It is among the most disorienting and irritating trends that people perceive to be counterproductive. It occurs when a person knowingly or even unconsciously does something that is not beneficial to him or her, for pleasure or prosperity. The fact that man desires so much: the construction of the career and emotional stability, the construction of the healthy relationship, a person is still capable of doing the things that cannot bring the needed outcome.

It does not imply that self-sabotage renders an individual not a hard-working person or a lack of willpower. Probably, it is more the expression of deeper emotional patterns, the fears and convictions that have been acquired throughout the duration of time. The root causes can be conquered by the knowledge of such root causes and the development of healthier behaviors. The paper will discuss the most prevalent causes of self-sabotage and the effect of these habits on life.


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9 Top Causes of Self-Sabotage and How These Patterns Impact

1. Fear of Failure

The fear of not having done or excelled in expectations, or being in the self category of self-sabotage, is one of the most common causes that causes a person to self-sabotage or coerce other people to self-sabotage. When success seems a source of danger, people make unconscious decisions on how not to pursue the risks that are implied in pursuing the activities that involve withdrawing or making efforts. They could either be too weak or too insecure, or they lose hope of getting what they want because it is better to fail than to fail.
The given tendency is typical of individuals who are raised in an environment of extreme criticism or demands. With the lapse of time, they develop the thinking that the only way they can prove that they are worthy is to fail; thus, it is better to avoid the problem than to be disappointed.

2. Fear of Success

It is strange, but the failure is even more dangerous than success itself. It will also include the pressure that will most likely come with the new responsibility and visibility, as well as the achievement of goals. The other people fear that they would end up being a successful person, and then they would find themselves in more commitments that they cannot handle, or alter the attitude of other people.
The outcome of this fear might likely be the less conspicuous aspect of self-destruction, declining success, incompetence in following the opportunities, or dropping out when the good things are to be played. The stress-making factors can also become more vivid in the case of life transitions, as the individuals get to learn more about the instruments that are intended to be used, including a postpartum depression test that will allow the individuals to track their emotional condition.

3. Negative Core Beliefs and Low Self-Worth.

Even human beings enjoy sabotaging their own accomplishments since they do not regard themselves as deserving of success or even love, as opposed to happiness. These assumptions are anchored on the results of the past traumas, rejection/ criticism, and are what determine how individuals see themselves and how they belong to the world.
The typical phrases in the international messages are:

  • “I’m not good enough.”
  • They would fall when they would know that it is actually me.
  • “Nothing I do works out anyway.”

The thoughts cause emotional inhibition to healthy choices in that it is not natural and clumsy. This will also lead to a state of self-alienation among the people because they might not explore new things or spoil them with unhealthy lifestyles, simply because they are more used to it.

The sufferers of the emotional turmoil also consider the postpartum depression test application in other instances in an effort to know whether their thoughts or behavior can be termed as the consequence of the temporary mood swings or other larger and deeper underlying conflicts.

4. Comfort in Familiar Patterns

Human beings are habitual beings. This may be that of staying in a healthy yet unhealthy schedule as compared to the introduction of a new kid in the block. This is more so when one is referring to the ones that have been brought up in a big or even busy environment.

When he/she has been accustomed to the unpredictability, the relaxedness will hardly be adopted. The healthy relationships are suspect as they are anticipated to become rejected. One of the ways of returning to the familiar is self-sabotaging, destructive as it is.

This is what causes most people to reenact the same cycle of emotions in their friendship relationship, romantic relationship, or work relationship that occur unconsciously.

5. Difficulty Regulating Emotions

When there is emotional control, the self-sabotage tends to be high. This pressure, humiliation, anxiety, and frustration may lead to the mind sinking, and one is able to do anything on the spur of the moment. Unless these emotions are delivered in the proper way, the individual will guarantee to receive a backlash in the form of: 

  • Avoiding responsibilities
  • Shutting down emotionally
  • Engaging in harmful habits
  • Escaping by evading or avoiding

The dysregulation of emotions is habitually triggered by past traumas, stress, attachment forms, or issues of anxiety disorders. Emotional regulations with automatic self-sabotage may not be necessary.

6. Fear of Vulnerability and Intimacy

The majority are simply undermining love with their own free will, not because people are not ready to love, but they are scared to be in a closet. Where people may be: in case of an intimate relationship, old wounds may be present.

  • Retaliate when it is serious
  • The lack of respect to win without even knowing each other
  • Distrust affection
  • Select spouses in an inaccessible fashion

Through such a move, they are not just shielding themselves against possible injuries, but they are also not empowering themselves to build good relationships.

7. Perfectionism

The perfectionism habit can make individuals set rather high standards for themselves. Even individuals cannot desire to work under such huge pressure in any way. This causes a feeling of guilt and disgust of immensity.

The reason behind perfectionism is usually pegged to childhood compliments that are made on the grounds of doing something, fear of being condemned, or even the supposition that love is conditional rather than unconditional.

8. Unresolved Trauma

The outcome of the behavior is a result of the past trauma in most cases, since the people are not conscious of it. The self-protecting behavior is absorbed by people who have been emotionally misused, neglected, forsaken, or carelessly attended, most of them acquiring it by self-sabotaging.

Besides the normal risks or changes, the traumas may also increase the threats on top of the normal risks or changes that may be overwhelming. The healing process can take place through sympathy and support, even professional help, so that one can be in a position to rewrite the ancient patterns.

9. Lack of Emotional Awareness

Individuals have been self-destructing merely because they have yet to establish the factors behind their emotional conduct. On a new example, he/she may think he/she is a lazy person, when in fact he/she is a burnout with stress or in anxiety or fear disguised as a procrastinator.

The ability to identify internal feelings will enable individuals to respond to situations differently from responding to the same ones.

A Final Word

Self-sabotage phenomenon is not ignorance of self, but a defense system, any of them inculcated by experience, a crude emotion, and prejudice. These are sadistic trends as they are, yet the initial move towards recovery is an understanding of what causes the same.

This is offered through education, time, and encouragement as people are offered a chance of breaking the loop of their self-defeating behavior and take a step ahead of making healthier and empowered decisions.