Buying a home with a partner: 13 tips for navigating the process together
Buying a home with a partner can be an exciting yet daunting experience. To help navigate this complex journey, we sought advice from top industry experts including a Chief Marketing Officer and a founder. Our experts share thirteen invaluable insights, starting with the importance of creating a clear financial plan and concluding with the need to manage expectations and be willing to adapt. Read on to discover essential tips that will make your home buying process smoother and more enjoyable.
- Create a Clear Financial Plan
- Define Roles Early in the Process
- Start With Honest Financial Conversations
- Maintain Open Communication About Goals
- Prioritize Home’s Essential Systems
- Discuss Priorities and Handle Expenses
- Review Homeowner’s Insurance Policies Together
- Establish a Mutually Agreed Budget
- List Non-Negotiables and Ideals
- Obtain Pre-Approval for a Mortgage
- Discuss Non-Negotiables and Ownership Options
- Enter Into a Cohabitation Agreement
- Manage Expectations and Be Willing to Adapt
Create a Clear Financial Plan
When my partner and I decided to buy a home together, the first thing we did was create a clear financial plan. We knew it was important to have an honest conversation about how we would handle all the expenses, from the down payment to monthly mortgage payments, utilities, and even maintenance costs. This helped us avoid any surprises later and made sure we were on the same page about what we could afford.
We sat down and worked out a budget that included both of our incomes and outlined how we would split the costs. This included deciding who would handle which bills and setting aside money for emergencies or unexpected repairs. Having everything written down made it much easier to track and made both of us feel secure in our responsibilities.
The process wasn’t just about numbers, though. It gave us a chance to talk about our long-term goals, like how we wanted to use the house and whether it would be a stepping stone or a forever home. That planning paid off because it not only made the home-buying experience smoother but gave us a strong foundation for managing other financial decisions together. Transparency and teamwork really made a difference.
Tracie Crites, Chief Marketing Officer, HEAVY Equipment Appraisal
Define Roles Early in the Process
Define your roles early in the process. Both partners should be clear on who’s responsible for what—researching neighborhoods, dealing with paperwork, managing negotiations, or coordinating with agents and lenders. Dividing these tasks keeps the process organized, reduces stress, and ensures both people feel equally involved.
When my partner and I bought our home, we realized we had different strengths in managing the process. I took on the research side, comparing listings and looking at potential investment properties, while my partner handled more of the financial details, like budgeting and reviewing loan options. We also kept communication open throughout, ensuring we both felt informed and comfortable with each decision.
Ultimately, it wasn’t just about the home we bought but about navigating the process as a team. Setting clear expectations, sharing responsibilities, and staying aligned on goals made the entire experience smoother, and we could enjoy the home-buying process rather than letting it become a source of tension.
Justin Landis, Founder, Justin Landis Group
Start With Honest Financial Conversations
As a real estate and mortgage professional, my advice for couples buying a home together is to start with an honest financial conversation. Buying a home is one of the biggest investments you’ll make, and it’s essential to fully understand each other’s financial situation before diving into the process. This means discussing credit scores, existing debts, and monthly income, and setting a clear budget.
I’ve worked with many couples who discovered unexpected financial gaps mid-process because they hadn’t fully aligned on these details beforehand. Having these discussions early ensures smoother communication with lenders and helps avoid surprises during pre-approval. It’s also important to be realistic about your shared goals—are you buying a forever home or a starter home? Understanding your timeline and priorities together will keep you on the same page throughout the journey.
Navigating the mortgage process as a team can feel overwhelming, which is why leaning on professionals, like your loan officer or Realtor, is critical. I always tell my clients to ask as many questions as needed—it’s better to over-communicate than to assume anything. One couple I worked with had very different ideas about their ideal neighborhood, but by running numbers and presenting them with clear financial scenarios, I helped them see which areas fit their budget and long-term goals. This brought clarity to their decision-making.
My biggest advice is to prepare for flexibility—market conditions, inspection results, or appraisal challenges can arise. Staying grounded in your shared priorities while trusting your team of professionals will help make the process not only manageable but successful.
Shirley Mueller, Owner and CEO, VA Loans Texas
Maintain Open Communication About Goals
Have open and honest communication about your goals, expectations, and finances from the very beginning. Getting caught up in the excitement of finding your dream home is easy, but it’s essential to be aligned on your priorities. Discuss things like budget, preferred locations, long-term goals, and what features are non-negotiable for both of you.
When my partner and I navigated this process, we made sure to have regular check-ins where we openly talked about our must-haves versus nice-to-haves and our financial comfort zones. We also worked with a trusted real estate agent (like myself!) who helped facilitate the conversations and ensured we were making informed decisions based on market conditions.
Establishing a plan is also helpful in case your views or circumstances change during the search. This might include agreeing on what will happen if you can’t agree on a property or how you’ll approach any unexpected challenges that arise.
Ultimately, the process should be a team effort, with mutual respect, compromise, and clear communication.
Betsy Pepine, Owner and Real Estate Broker, Pepine Realty
Prioritize Home’s Essential Systems
When buying a home with a partner, it’s important to consider not just the aesthetic and location factors but also the condition of the home’s essential systems, like HVAC, plumbing, and electrical. My partner and I prioritized having a thorough home inspection to ensure these systems were in good condition before moving forward. We specifically asked the inspector to check the HVAC system for age, functionality, and efficiency, knowing that replacing or repairing it could be costly. We also paid close attention to the plumbing, looking for signs of leaks, water pressure issues, or outdated pipes that could lead to future problems.
The electrical system was another key consideration—ensuring the home had enough power for our needs and that the wiring was up to code, especially in an older house. We discussed the potential costs of upgrading these systems if necessary and how that would impact our budget. Being proactive about these systems helped us avoid surprises later and gave us peace of mind knowing we were making a sound investment. Throughout the process, we maintained open communication about what each of us was willing to prioritize or compromise on, which helped us stay aligned and find a home that met both our needs and our budget.
Chris Hunter, Director of Customer Relations, ServiceTitan
Discuss Priorities and Handle Expenses
The biggest piece of advice I can give is to talk about your priorities. Maybe one of you wants a big backyard for a dog, while the other is more focused on being close to work or friends. These conversations can get tricky, but they’re essential. If you skip them, you might end up in a house that feels more like a compromise than a home. You both need to be on the same page about your budget, what you want in a home, and how you’ll handle expenses.
My partner and I made it a point to tackle this as a team from the get-go. Since we’re both mortgage and real estate experts, we approached this as a true partnership. We divided tasks based on our strengths. My wife is very detail-oriented so she had checklists for everything—neighborhoods we liked, minor repairs that the houses needed, and even questions to ask during open houses. I’m more of a big-picture guy, so her attention to detail balanced me out perfectly.
Mike Roberts, Co-Founder, City Creek Mortgage
Review Homeowner’s Insurance Policies Together
One piece of advice I have for couples buying a home together is to review homeowner’s insurance policies together and ensure they account for any shared assets. When my partner and I went through the process, we overlooked how much our belongings and renovations would cost to insure. I learned that bundling auto and home insurance saved us money while increasing coverage. Planning ahead and shopping around for policies together can give you peace of mind that you are protected, no matter what happens.
Michael Benoit, Founder and Insurance Expert, ContractorBond
Establish a Mutually Agreed Budget
As a home builder and remodeling contractor, I believe I have a solid perspective on this one. First, I suggest establishing a budget that is agreed upon by both parties. You’d be surprised to know how many times the budget cannot be agreed upon, forcing someone to compromise after they find a house (instead of finding something that is mutually agreed upon). Then, create a list of must-haves and nice-to-haves, including location, home size, and specific features (like a finished basement, pool, etc). Bonus points if you decide to create a vision board! This allows you to create a visual representation of the elements that each party wants to see (and encourages compromise on the spot).
Additionally, it can keep your search as focused as possible. This can be done as a fun date night activity to get everyone excited about the build. Then, start shopping around. Walk around houses together and see if you want something more custom (that a new build would offer), a fixer upper, or ready to move in. The expectations here will give a foundation for your search and give you a chance to keep your search as focused as possible.
Zach Boone, CEO, Green Ladder Contractors
List Non-Negotiables and Ideals
Buying a home with a partner can be fun and also frustrating. First, communication is key. List out on paper; What are both of your biggest “non-negotiables” in a new home? Fenced yard? Large kitchen? Garage/shop? Square feet or number of bedrooms? Next lay out both of your “Ideals”—room for a trampoline, gas or wood fireplaces, etc. The last line should be “Cool if it does”—hot tub, pool etc.—all the wishes, but “oh well if it doesn’t.” Compare your lists and work together to build a list that includes a little from each person.
Telishia Altis, Mortgage Broker, Commercial Real Estate Agent, Dwell Mortgage, John L Scott Snohomish
Obtain Pre-Approval for a Mortgage
When purchasing a home with a partner, obtaining pre-approval for a mortgage is an essential first step. This procedure ensures that you both have a clear understanding of the parameters within which you can make an offer on a property and helps to bring clarity and confidence to your financial capabilities and budget.
This entails giving a lender information about your earnings, assets, credit history, and other financial specifics. After assessing your eligibility, the lender will issue a pre-approval letter that details the maximum loan amount you are eligible to receive, along with the interest rate and other conditions you can anticipate.
In the process of purchasing a home, it shows sellers that you are sincere, dedicated buyers with the required funding already in place. This can give you a big edge over other potential buyers in a competitive real estate market.
A seller can be sure that the transaction has a higher chance of success when they receive an offer from a pre-approved buyer. Because there is less doubt about the buyers’ ability to secure the necessary financing, your offer may seem more appealing and have a higher chance of being accepted.
I was working with a couple who had already received pre-approval, allowing them to secure their ideal home. The buyers had the money to follow through, which gave the sellers confidence when they made their offer. Because of this, their offer stood out from the others, and the sellers decided to accept it.
The buyers were able to move quickly and with peace of mind thanks to the pre-approval process, which also made sure they didn’t miss out on the ideal property. They were able to act decisively and confidently throughout the negotiation and purchase process because they were aware of their budget and had faith in their ability to obtain the required funding.
To sum up, when purchasing a home with a partner, getting pre-approved for a mortgage is an essential first step. It makes your financial situation clear, shows that you are serious about the purchase, and can provide you with a big edge in a cutthroat market. You can approach the home-buying process with a strong foundation and improve your chances of obtaining the property of your dreams by completing this crucial step.
Maxim Zubarev, Real Estate Specialist, Inside Dubai Estate
Discuss Non-Negotiables and Ownership Options
Buying a home as a couple can be a huge milestone in a relationship. Although buying a house is usually an exciting time, the stress of the process can sometimes be overwhelming. One piece of advice that may be useful for couples is to prioritize communication. Specifically, couples need to discuss non-negotiables and ownership options. Couples can opt for joint tenancy, where both individuals own the property as if under one owner. Some couples may instead opt for tenancy in common, where each person owns a separate portion of the house.
As every house is different, every couple will have different requirements for their home. For example, one person may insist on having a two-story home, while their partner insists on living close to a school. Non-negotiables can also include things such as budget maximums, long-term plans, and exit options. Regardless of what aspects of a home constitute non-negotiable, couples must emphasize their needs in order to purchase a home that makes both of them happy.
Leslie Delhomme, Marketing Coordinator, Achievable
Enter Into a Cohabitation Agreement
If you’re not married, make sure you enter into a formal written agreement that lays out each person’s rights and responsibilities relating to the home. Include the amounts each person contributed toward the purchase, how the mortgage and related expenses are to be shared, and what happens if there is a break-up. In Massachusetts, we refer to these as “Cohabitation Agreements.”
Heather OConnor, CEO & Founding Attorney, O’Connor Family Law
Manage Expectations and Be Willing to Adapt
One of the most important things you can do together as a couple when buying a home is to manage your expectations. You may not be able to find your exact dream home personally, but with compromise, you will be able to find the house of your collective dreams. You may not be able to find a house right next to your work but somewhere in between your work and your partner’s work will be perfect. Willingness to adapt is important in a relationship and it is a trait that is no less important here when purchasing a home.
Amy Mayer, Product Engineer, Shawood
