You Know You're From Arizona When…

You can say Hohokam and no one thinks you’re making it up.

You no longer associate rivers or bridges with water.

You know that a “swamp cooler” is not a happy hour drink.

You can contemplate a high temperature of 120 degrees as “not all that bad; after all, it’s a dry heat.”

You have learned to expertly maneuver your vehicle under any traffic conditions using only two fingers; a skill usually learned initially in July.

You know that you can make sun tea outside faster than instant tea in your microwave.

You have to run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so that you can use your fireplace.

The water coming from the “cold” tap is hotter than that from the “hot” tap.

You can correctly pronounce the following words: “Saguaro,” “Tempe,” “Gila Bend,” “San Xavier del Bac,” “Canyon de Chelly,” “Mogollon Rim,” “Cholla,” “Tlaquepacque” and “Ajo.”

It’s noon on a weekday in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one single person is moving on the streets.

Hot air balloons can’t fly because the air outside is hotter than the air inside.

You buy salsa by the gallon. 164923602

Your Christmas decorations include a half a yard of sand and 100 paper bags.

All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.

You think someone driving while wearing oven mitts is clever.

You think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful yard.

You can say 115 degrees without fainting.

Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.

People break out coats when the temperature drops below 70.

Most people will not drink tap water unless they are under dire conditions.

Monday Night Football starts at 7 p.m. instead of 9 p.m.

You realize Valley Fever isn’t a disco dance.

People with black cars or have black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out-of-state or nuts.

151512669You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you’re wearing shorts.

Announcements for Fourth of July events never end with “in case of rain…”

You know that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

You know that you can get a sunburn through your car window.

You have to explain to out-of-staters why there is no daylight savings time

When someone asks how far you live from a location, it’s always in terms of minutes, not miles.

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

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