With the ridiculousness of political coverage headlines growing exponentially, many people — myself included — end up looking for temporary escapes from the inane insanity. For some — definitely myself included — that escape is the wonderful world of movies.
When you’re calming down in the dark of a movie theater, certain ideas can arise: such as ‘why are all the remaining politicians in the race awful?’ or ‘what actors and actresses would do a better job than them?’
It’s not a far-fetched idea: most of us know Arnold Schwarzenegger was the governor of California for eight years, and two of his Predator costars — Jesse Ventura and Sonny Landham — have held or ran for political office as well. So, in the interest of distracting you with a fantasy world more desirable than America’s current state, here’s a rundown of the movie stars that should be running for office!
Mark Ruffalo
Let’s start with an obvious pick. Ruffalo has been a remarkably outspoken activist both in professional outlets and on his personal Twitter page. From topics such as environmentalism and fracking to human rights and world peace, Mark Ruffalo has directed anyone listening towards articles and documentaries about political problems — occasionally even ones written by him. He is perhaps a bit too fond of conspiracy theories, but with the amount of conspiring in our political sphere, he’ll fit right in.
Rosario Dawson
You might know her as the resident nurse of Marvel’s Cinematic Universe, assisting superheroes like Daredevil, Jessica Jones, and Luke Cage with the healthcare they deserve. In reality, Dawson is fighting on the frontlines for everyone to have access to the kind of healthcare that those gifted with powers are getting. Just like a real-life hero, she’s willing to take on the risks of her political prowess: a few months ago she was arrested at Capitol Hill for protesting big money’s involvement in government. I think I’ll support a Dawson-Ruffalo ticket for 2016.
Angelina Jolie
One of the most frequent complaints levied against the politicians of today is that they’re not men and women of action: they make promises, hype up crowds, but end up doing little to change the country they were tasked with improving. This complaint could never apply to the tireless Jolie. She’s a dedicated humanitarian who has long supported causes such as incentivizing adoption and aiding refugees. And, equally impressive, she doesn’t seek the limelight — could we say that about our frontrunners? (No, not whatsoever at all.)
Leonardo DiCaprio
Now that we’ve gotten great choices for our needy country out of the way, let’s move on to a couple less qualified but familiar characters to round out our cinematic White House. DiCaprio is an unabashed environmentalist: after winning the Best Actor Oscar (FINALLY, now stop complaining about it) this year for his work in The Revenant, DiCaprio used his speech time to talk about the dangers of climate change. But he did take a private jet around the globe to fetch his environmental award… looks like we’ve got our popular hypocrite locked down!
Gary Busey
The unhinged craziness of Trump without the morally reprehensible policies: what’s not to love? Wait — he endorsed Donald Trump? Never mind, there’s no hope. I’ve moving to Budapest.